Until recently, my plans for my body were short and sweet, and focused on frugality above all–cheap cremation, simple memorial service, sprinkled in two very meaningful places when possible. Caskets, viewings, memorial markers, all unnecessary as far as I was concerned for me: just burn me up, simple and be done with it.
(This, incidentally, is changing. The more I understand natural burial, the closer I get to buying my plot at Eloise Woods and not wasting all these nutrients in the fire!)
For my kids, though, my answer is totally different. I’m not sure I could burn them. I think I would need the viewing, the time with their bodies to say goodbye, and the marker, the place to go visit them. Since these would be the final costs I would ever incur for them, cheap wouldn’t matter either, at least not in balance to the love and persistence I would want for my child’s memory.
In that mindframe, I find this cemetery marker to be incredibly moving, and an amazing visionary tribute to a beloved child.
As explained by EnjoyUtah.org, who first documented this online, Matthew suffered complications at birth which left him blind and mostly paralyzed for all of his 10.5 years, but, according to his obituary, couldn’t touch his spirit:
And then it shall come to pass, that the spirits of those who” are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and “from all care, and sorrow
Peacefully in his sleep on Sunday, February 21, 1999, our cherished son, brother and friend, Matthew Stanford Robison was received into a state of happiness, and began his rest from troubles, care, and sorrow in the arms of his Savior and.friend Jesus Christ
Matthew was a joy and inspiration to all who were privileged to know him. He was a testament to the supreme divinity of the soul and an embodiment of the completeness our spirits yearn for. The godliness of his soul inspired, influenced and blessed all who knew him. He came into this world as a .miracle and left this world as a miracle
Born with severe earthly disabilities on September 23, 1988 in Salt Lake City to Johanna,(Anneke) Dame Robison and Ernest Parker Robison. At birth Matthew’s life expectancy was anticipated to be only hours long. However, fortitude, strength, and endurance, combined with the power of God allowed Matthew to live ten and one half years enveloped in the love of his family and friends. His family was privileged to spend time with him here upon earth, to learn from his courage and marvel at his constant joy and happiness in the face of struggle. His family will be eternally changed by his presence and temporally changed by his passing. His presence inspired all those who knew him. He opened their hearts as well as their eyes.
This headstone was designed by Matthew’s family to make his grave a place of happiness,springing from the thought that he was now released from the physical limitations that had defined so much of his life.
In addition to the headstone, Matthew’s family also created a foundation dedicated to assisting folks with disabilities, ensuring that their son’s memory would live on in positive and good, beyond the happiness of his memorial marker.
Lovely, and special.
It might suprise you, given my post about the tattoo preservation service, but I’ve also said that this scenario (child loss) would also be the one circumstance under which I would get a tattoo.
Spending money and getting inked, way outside my usual M.O.but for the depths of love a mama has for her kiddos, not outside the realm of understandable (even for a frugal gal like me!)